Having a Baby? Ten Reasons Why That's AWESOME.

Don't Buy Into the Negativity

When I was pregnant with our now 7.5 month old baby boy, I was pretty shocked by the seemingly negative spin that a lot of people put on parenthood. The months leading up to having your first baby are stressful enough without calloused sentiments like, "Your life is over," and, "You'll never sleep in again," and, "Date night? What's that? LOLZ". 

Also: The idea of overpopulation. So trendy right now. First off, overpopulation is a myth. Go on and have yourself a baby. Or three or four. You know what? Surprise me.

The real party poopers, however, are the anxiety-inducing internet shock jocks who blog about the "reality of having kids".  Scary Mommy is a top offender, in my book, and here's why: Although they are good at bringing a humorous twist to some of the most mentally, physically, and emotionally challenging passages of parenthood, they are only telling a fraction of the story. And it's not even the most important part. And it's not the part that will stick out in your memory when you think back on those days and nights, and nights and days blurred together. I think their intention is to remove the rose-colored glasses of foggy women who think that celebrity mags present an accurate portrayal of mommyhood. And they want to make money off of our fears and insecurities.

I remember being scared out of my pants by those "reality" blogs, yet feeling that if I truly wanted to be prepared, I must keep reading. After all, who wants to start down this road with a false sense of security that everything's gonna be OK? No one, that's who. No one wants to feel that they are unprepared to be a new mom or dad. I would have been better off just sticking to What to Expect the First Year.

And then there's life. Life often presents us with challenges we find uncomfortable, and almost never convenient. There may be money, health, and family issues that cloud the joy of parenthood. There is loss and grief, which can turn your world upside down at a time when you're "supposed to" be the happiest you've ever been. I can relate to this one personally because I lost my youngest brother when I was five months pregnant. To suicide. He was 21, and I loved/love him dearly. In three days it will be one year. I can't even...there are no words. That's a whole different blog post. But what I mean to say is that I get it; I know it's scary to go careening headlong towards parenting in the midst of this broken and convulsing world.

But you know what? You'll be fine. You really will. You may need to call in favors so you can get a nap, spend some time in a lactation consultant's office (recommended anyway), read books and do Google searches, but you will do it. You'll surprise yourself with how great you do...I promise! People have been doing this for thousands of years, without books or internet or phones. You've got this. And here are some of the awesome, and I truly mean AWESOME things that you have to look forward to:

1) Purity and Innocence. I don't know a better place to find it than a baby. It's not on TV, movies, radio, internet, me, or you. And frankly, I miss it. But you can have it - the real thing - in your very own hands! It's yours, for a while, a beautiful gift that can't be earned; a gift that you can nurture and protect. 

2) Life becomes so much more full:
Beauty-full, hope-full, purpose-full, and delight-full. Babies invite you to see through their eyes; eyes that are eager to learn, explore, grow, engage, love, respond, and join. This little person is head-over-heels for you from minute one.

3) Hidden Strength.
You will be amazed - speechless even - at what you are capable of. Introverted? Same here. Love sleep, quiet time, and lots of quality time with your spouse? Me too. Thus the anxiety over having a baby in the house 24/7. But it's not what you think. You stretch and make room. You learn to compromise and you get creative. Your body and mind adjust to meet the demands of the day (and night). You are resourceful, courageous, and selfless like you don't even know. You find ways to grow together that no one could have taught you, because you come equipped with hidden strength and ingenuity. This is an area where we're still learning, but we're learning together. Get help when you need it, gather as much support, resources, and community as you can, and know that you've got this. 

4) Your Parents, Remixed.
For better (and sometimes for worse), you're going to learn a lot about your own parents by becoming a parent yourself. It's pretty wild. This has the potential for breaking some ice, bridging some gaps, and strengthening some relationships. I'll leave it at that (Hi Mom! :) 

5) The Other Guy.
You will get to know your spouse a lot better, more deeply, and hopefully that will be a good thing. It has been for me. I have absolutely loved being there to see my husband become a father, one who is excited for our son to be with us, and who is committed to creating a home environment that fosters love, respect, security, cuddles, giggles, and a healthy marriage. And just like the miracle of "the two becoming one" through marriage, the new life you've created further seals that unity. But it's a quiet miracle that many don't notice until they look back on it...so watch for it carefully, and it will be there.

6) I Thought I Knew Myself, And Then...
I never really saw myself getting excited about being a mom, but since this little guy came along...whoa, Nelly. I seriously love being a mom. Let me back up: I seriously love being his mom. He's the reason for my warm fuzzies, and that's how your baby will be for you. I often tell him that he's the perfect baby for us. He was tailor-made and hand stitched to custom specs. Your baby is the perfect baby for you, too! So that's just one of many ways I have stretched and grown and learned so much about myself. I really sold myself short, thinking I wouldn't enjoy being a mom. I was so wrong. (And he's not an "easy" baby, either.)

7) Oh, hi there, God!
This is surprisingly similar to # 4. I can't believe how many "Aha!" moments I've had since we had our baby. If you're a person of faith, you're going to see your relationship to/with God in a whole new light. Paradigms will shift, questions will be answered, lessons will be learned, and eyes will be opened. The light bulb above your head will flash on so many times that it may get a little annoying. Your baby is the best teacher for some of life's most difficult questions. Example: Baby wants to play with my mug of hot coffee, but I don't let him. He cries. I know it could hurt him, but I don't have a way of explaining that to him because he can't reason on my level. He just has to trust that I know what's best for him, even though outwardly it appears that I am silent on the matter.
See what happened there? I just saw myself and my relationship with God. I want something, He denies it or takes it away, or waits a long time to give it to me. I get upset because I don't understand, and because God doesn't explain it to me. He is "silent". In reality, I can't reason with God on his level, so I need to trust that he knows what's best for me. Ouch! But it's a good ouch. 

8) The In-Crowd.
When you're out at the store, walking in your neighborhood, travelling, at a restaurant, or anywhere that other people go to, you're going to have an instant friendship with the other parents you meet. There's an understanding and familiarity that go along with becoming a parent. You know, and they know. You've both been there. There is a mutual respect and solidarity that naturally springs up, because you have something amazing in common: you're parents! You have been through the initiation and are now a member of a distinguished frat/sorority. It conceals secrets that no outsiders have been able to decode. Not even the Illuminati (unless some of them had kids...in which case, you've got something in common with the Illuminati).

9) Making Someone's Day.
There are a lot of people (especially old people) whose hearts are genuinely warmed at the sight of a baby. Any baby. Soon, your baby. Babies are great at drawing attention! You will be amazed at the friendly faces, happy chatter, and fun stories you will hear when you go out. I never had conversations with random strangers until we had a baby. Now I come to expect it, and often feel disappointed if an outing goes by without meeting a new friend. 

10) Heart Surgery.
Got a few rough edges? Me too. I can be impatient, critical, obsessive, anxious, unfocused, lazy, selfish, prideful...ummm, etc. And for sure, there are people who choose to hang onto those traits, but if you are willing to work on dropping a few bad habits, babies can help with that. They're just being themselves...their needy, dependent, helpless selves. And that's okay. You can be their patience, their self-control, and comfort. You can be their emotional balance, their perspective, and their self-discipline. You can be their empathy, their resilience, and their confidence. You can be their stability, their faith, and their translator (and their arbitrator, in some cases). You can be all of these things and more, until they have made these skills a part of themselves. And that's just awesome.

And if I'm able to write such positive things when our baby is only 7.5 months old, how much more do I have to look forward to when he's seven years old? Or seventeen? A lot, that's how much :)

These are just some of the truly awesome and wonderful things about having a baby. Do you have any to add to the list? Post them in the comments below!

If you found this encouraging, please share it with a friend who's having a baby!